Autumn Marie Foster
I've been looking; searching for new ways to complete myself. I've been restraining every bone in my body from everyone and everything and this has done no 'good' for me. I am a beat within every measure and still, most of the world wishes for me to be the common one sided, blunt, one beat note, the everyday working man, woman, and teenager that everyone is brought up to be. If you look me in the eyes, you will get lost forever. If you take the time to hear; not the "last minute, belly aching, I don't really care" hear... I mean actually listen. You will learn a thing or two about me. Maybe it's me too, that needs to listen. I see the world but do I really feel it? I won't walk away from you, and to me, I am a fault, at fault. Perfections are just a waste of time anyways. Know how many times I have been defeated, given up on, left. I am no fool and I will determine myself to you soon. The fire has yet to burn out. After all, freedom is the chance to spread your wings and not change for anyone.
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2 comments:
Hi Autumn,
Thanks for posting this one. Do you consider it a poem or a flash fiction?
I really enjoy your language here, the choices you've made about how to put your words together.
Some favorite lines:
"I am a beat within every measure and still, most of the world wishes for me to be the...one beat note."
"I will determine myself to you soon."
Comments/Suggestions/Questions for your classmates:
1) The semicolon in the first line should be a comma.
2) What does it mean to restrain "every bone" in one's body "from everyone"? Literally? Figuratively?
3) This narrator is very interested in himself or herself. It's very conscious of the "self." What is the effect, then, when the narrator introduces the idea that the world wishes for him/her to be "the everyday working man, woman, and teenager that everyone is brought up to be"?
(That should be "every-day working man")
Everyone please start leaving more comments for each other.
Thanks, again, Autumn, for posting this one.
Molly
"Freedom is the chance to spread your wings and not change for anyone."
This is a very powerful last line and idea in general. I feel like every sentence in this piece could be the jumping-off point for a whole new piece. I hope you continue with these ideas. Freedom being the strength to not change is really sticking with me.
Also- "Know how many times I have been defeated, given up on, left" should probably end in a question mark...
-Avery
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